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Wednesday, February 7th, 2007
9:07 am - You'll know my name...
Calling all naming enthusiats.
I am requesting your top names for my new fish that I am buying some time this week.
Anything eccentric, unusual or bizzare is prefered!
I will take regular names as well though.

I've already had one fish (my Beta) named Zero (after the dog in Nightmare Before Xmas) and my last one (my beautiful Bala Shark) was Escobar, after the fiesty Cuban family (he was fiesty too).

So far in the running I have:

• Ajo
• Achim Koedderman

But I need more!!!

Come on guys I need your help!

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Monday, October 9th, 2006
10:33 pm - No more memories, no more silent tears...
Do you know what it's like to have perfect pitch, but not be able to sing a note?
I do..It's depressing. All those years classically training on piano did me well, perfect pitch, play a note and I can tell you EXACTLY what it is, if your guitar is a HAIR sharp or flat I'll cringe like it's nails down a chalkboard....But I can't sing. It's like, let's clear the room. That really upsets me. Music is a part of me and to not be able to take a part of it vocally is really saddening.

Lately I have been listening to a lot of classical music. It puts me in some sorta of meditative, dreamy state that I love. Right now I've got some great Toccota and Fugue. It's amazing. I love to listen to it, and just sit back in my chair and forget that I have work, and problems, and pretty much everything else that bothers me. I've always LOVED Bach. It must come from being forced to play him over and over and having permanent crooks in my fingers and kinks in my wrists. I developed a certain appreciation for him that most 24 year old spoiled white kids like myself don't have...Go figure. Recently someone told me to listen to Vivaldi, and I took them up on that. I've always liked Vivaldi, but now I'm actually taking the time to really listen and hear the music. It's fascinating. I mean when you really think about it, how many people can just sit down and write this sort of music and have it be this amazing? Not many.

I sound like a huge dork, but you know I don't care. Not enough people in the world have a deep enough understand and appreciation for classical music. It's all "bling bling" this, and "fuck your bitch" that, or stupid teeny-boppers fashioning themselves after Hillary Duff and her "singing career". Don't get me wrong. I love the more popular music too. The music where the writers tell a story, not about "fucking their bitches and hoes every night" Depeche Mode, AFI, New Order and Joy Division will always be near and dear to my heart. To me, that is popular music with meaning. But you can say rap tells a story too, albeit in it's own way-Just not the way I prefer. But if we really think about it, it's ALL pre-dated by the fabulous stylings of Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Vivaldi, and Dvořák (to name a few).

And now, back to the music.

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Sunday, October 8th, 2006
7:04 pm - Don't you worry, they won't find my body.
I've decided to make all my subject lines from here on in song lyrics. It's better that way.

PCH is going well. But it's boring and I'm fearful of losing my job because they did away with the UK program and that's all I did. Hopefully I'll hang out as long as I can and ride it out. I have made a new friend at work actually. He is exteremly intelligent to the point it frightens me a little. OK, a lot. But, he makes me smile, and he is really fun to be around, so I'm happy.

My birthday was last Wednesday. My parents gave me awesome presents, as did Emile, my parents' best friends, and my friends took me out for the best outing on Friday night. Of course, as usual, it was in the Land of Smells, aka New Jersey. But it didn't matter. We went to Applebee's and even though the waiter wasn't called to sing to me I survived. Afterwards we saw Jet Li's "Fearless" and it was fantastical.

I worked on Saturday. Why? 'Cuz I needed money. I slept through most of it though because the work is so boring and methodical I can actually do it with my eyes closed.

Today I went to Concourse Elegance with my father and saw all the fancy cars and what not. Mazarati, Rolls Royce, Ferrari, and more. There was so much fucking FU money there I thought I would die. We drove the MG though so we looked hot. We then went to Jericho Cider Mill and drove around the North Shore, just enjoying the day.

I got something in my eye today though.
I liken myself to that of an adorable and friendly hippo. Yes, I know, hippos really aren't friendly - but they look it.
I'd like to be a Vampire. Biting is fun.

/End Trasmission

ps. Tom Likes LOVES Porn.

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Tuesday, September 26th, 2006
12:02 am - quickest update ever!
To gloat a little :)
My third tattoo is now complete.
For those of you who care to see it please IM me at: PunkySpunkyRae or Email me (it's in my profile section).

End Transmission

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Monday, September 11th, 2006
10:09 pm - I am a New Yorker, and I will never forget.
I am a New Yorker. I do not have to live in the five boroughs or on the Island or Upstate. I may live hundreds or thousands of miles away or I may live just over the GW Bridge, but I am a New Yorker.

I am a New Yorker. Whatever took me out of New York: business, family or hating the cold did not take New York out of me.
My accent may have faded and my pace may have slowed but I am a New Yorker.

I am a New Yorker. I was raised on Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and Rockefeller Plaza, the Yankees or the Mets, Jones Beach or Rye Beach or one of the beaches on the sound. I know that "THE END" means Montauk. Because I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker. When I go on vacation, I never look up: skyscrapers are something I take for granted. The Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty are part of me. Taxis and noise and subways and "get outa heah" don't rattle me, because I am a New Yorker.

I am a New Yorker. I was raised on cultural diversity before it was politically correct. I eat Greek food and Italian food, Jewish and Middle Eastern food and Chinese food because they are all American food to me. I don't get mad when people speak other languages in my presence because my relatives got to this country via Ellis Island and chose to stay. They were New Yorkers.

I am a New Yorker. People who have never been to New York have misunderstood me. My friends and family work in the industries, professions and businesses that benefit all Americans. My firefighters and police officers died trying to save New Yorkers and non-New Yorkers. They died trying to save Americans and non-Americans because they were New Yorkers.

I am a New Yorker. I feel the pain of my fellow New Yorkers. I mourn the loss of part of my beautiful city. But then I remember:
I am a New Yorker.

And New Yorkers have:
Tenacity, strength and courage way above the norm
Compassion and caring for our fellow citizens
Love and pride in our city, in our state, in our country
Intelligence, experience and education par excellence
Ability, dedication and energy above and beyond
Faith--no matter what religion we practice

Terrorists hit America in its heart but America's heart still beats strong. Demolish the steel in our buildings, but it doesn't touch the steel in our souls. Hit us in the pocketbook; but we'll parlay what we have left into a fortune. End innocent lives leaving widows and orphans, but we'll take care of them, because they are New Yorkers

Wherever we live, whatever we do, whoever we are. There are New Yorkers in every state and every city of this nation. We will not abandon our city. We will not abandon our brothers and sisters. We will not abandon the beauty, creativity and diversity that New York represents. And most importantly, we will never forget.

Because we are New Yorkers.

And we are proud to be New Yorkers.

We will never forget.

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Sunday, September 10th, 2006
6:07 pm - A dead letter marked return to sender...
I find it really sad that when people don't agree with what you have to say, or tell you to practice what you preach, they can't follow up on their own advice and do the same. When an adult male, older than myself, finds it necessary to storm out of a dinner and take a taxi home because he can't stand to be in a car with me for more than 15 mins. When a grown up, a teacher, someone who teaches guidance and supposed acceptance to children, has the audacity to argue an opinion that he has no backing for, and treats you like a little child. I also find it pathetic that you can no longer consider me a friend, and have to go so far as to remove me from you list of friends on stupid pages like "myspace" and "facebook" that we are all a little too unashamed to admit at our age we belong to. It sort of breaks my heart that you are immature enough to have to disregard someone as a friend who disagrees with you, or raises their voice at you because you don't listen to them

So this is an open letter to you:

I am sorry you can't deal with a strong woman who has no problem vocalizing her opinions and is intelligent enough to back those opinions up, but I am not sorry for being this type of woman. I am not sorry for being educated enough to be able to argue my own cases and even have enough information to play devils advocate for the other side. I am a strong, powerful woman, and you have no right to try to stomp on me and try to make me think otherwise. It's really sad, in my opinion, that you want others to be as wonderful and as non-judgmental as you are, when you go around on a daily basis scrutinizing everyone else's actions, with no regard for how your actions might affect other people, and that maybe, just maybe your actions are not so wonderful either. I am also not sorry if I raise my voice at you. If you are going to be obnoxious enough to interrupt me, talk over me, and blatantly ignore what I have to say, I am going to get angry, and after about 5 mins of trying to subtly get your attention and make myself be heard, I AM going to raise my voice. You have no right to think that you are any more important than I am, especially, in certain cases, because you are MALE. Don't cry fucking privilege here. I don't apologize for having Breasts and a Vagina. You Penis does not grant you rights that I don't have. And don't go on and on telling me that because I am a feminist I don't have my head screwed on appropriately. Feminism goes deeper than someone like you will ever understand. It's not just fighting for equal pay and breaking the glass ceiling, or for legal abortions (FOR SHAME), it's about being a woman and NOT HAVING TO APOLOGIZE AND FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. You will NEVER understand that, as you do not have the anatomy that I do. You have no right to criticize my beliefs. I don't criticize yours. I don't agree with them. In fact, I am strongly against them and am disgusted by them, but I recognize the right for you to have those opinions and beliefs, and when it comes down to it, if someone tried to take them away from you, I'd fight to the death for you to be able to keep those rights. You don't have to agree with what I believe in, but don't tell me that they are wrong.

I am not apologizing ever again to you. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. I didn't do anything wrong. I am who I am, and if you aren't mature and composed enough to accept that, than you are a sadder person that I thought. For once, follow along with your own message, and practice what you preach. Don't judge me. What's that you say? You don't? Bull Shit. Maybe you need to go back to school and take some classes on acceptance and tolerance.

Or better yet, read this, and take it to heart.

Before you judge me take a look at you
Can't you find something better to do
Point the finger, slow to understand
Arrogance and Ignorance go hand in hand

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Saturday, September 9th, 2006
2:24 pm - My Interests Collage
My Interests Collage!Collapse )
Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by darkman424

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Wednesday, August 30th, 2006
11:24 pm - Update.
About the Solar System:
Do all our Horoscopes and Astrology books change now that Pluto is no longer in our solar system? You know, no more pluto ascending and descending. Is my copy of Linda Goodman's "Sunsigns" now completely and uterly obsolete. The books about Me and Emile being a perfect couple because of the way the planets are, does it all change now? What shall I do? I am honestly confused about this, please someone, explain. It upsets me a little.

Weight Watchers is going well. I'm determined to lose 12 more pounds by my birthday (October 4th) so I can reach my 10% goal of 19 pounds. I've been steadily exercising every day and am totally in the "weight watchers zone" and feel real good about myself. I think, no, I know I will do it.

My mom's cousin, (my second cousin I think?), was just diagnosed with breast cancer. She is moving from Minnesota to Georgia right now. (They previously lived on Long Island, then moved to Ohio and then to Minnesota all for her husbands job) With her 4 kids and 2 dogs and Husband, and it couldn't come at a worse time (not that cancer comes at a good time ever). She'll have the lumpectomy in Minnes. and the Chemo in Georgia. Her oldest son, (who I can say is honestly one of my best friends) is a sophomore in college, so I guess that makes him what almost 19? Well he's taking it much better than expected now that the shock wore off. (I can't speak for her other 3 kids though) We are in contact every day and getting through it together Everything is going to be fine. To quote one of my new favorite songs off the new Breaking Benjamin CD "Phobia", he and I now live by this quote:

"Why give up?
Why give in?
It's not enough
It never is
So I will go on until the end"

It means a lot to us.

I got lidocaine in my eye tonight. That fucking hurt. I was trying to put it on my ear and sorely missed. I put 16 gauges in my ears after having 20 gauges in. Wow, I forgot how much it can hurt. My gland on the right side is so swollen from fighting the damn infection that could be festering. I'm taking extra precautions to just make sure nothing extra bad happens to my ears.

Anything else to update. Let's see. I did art work for the infamous Chippendales today for my other job. That was kick ass, and funny too.

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Monday, August 28th, 2006
10:57 pm - Random thought of the day...
I wish I was thinner, and prettier.

That is all.

Oh, and my ears hurt.

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Monday, August 21st, 2006
1:41 pm - Eeek!
Work is becoming considerably impossible today. I just let out an impressive shriek when something didn't go my way. I'm posting in the midst of the work day as to try to calm myself. Typing is even hard now, and when you are an Art Director and use a computer all day long and your hands don't want to work the way you want them to, work is hard. My mouse keeps skipping and I keep hitting the wrong buttons and windows. I'm just so frustrated. I'm not hungry and it's way past when I normally eat. My eyes are darting around the room like mad and I can't focus on one thing in specific. My mind is racing a million miles an hour and every little noise I hear spooks me. I keep turning my head to check and see what's going on because my door is closed and I feel like someone is gonna barge in at any moment and say something. Because you see, no one knocks here. I could have the door shut and it wouldn't matter if I was on a phone call with an important staff member, who ever barges in comes first and is very impatient. I am quite frustrated with myself right now because I've stoped several times writing this entry because I lose track of what I'm doing and my mind wanders, and my eyes dart, and my head turns, and I swear my door moves on its own.

I guess I am going to try to get back to work now.

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Sunday, August 20th, 2006
11:10 pm - ...Life will be ready to twist up your world
I'm very on edge right now. I've been wandering around the house aimlessly, smoked a cigarette or two, pet the dog, cleaned my room, changed my sheets, and to no avail, I just don't feel right. I think a manic phase is coming on or something but I don't really know. My trich has coming back, so has the picking. I just can't figure it out. I just feel rather ... I don't know. I spoke to an old friend today. Actually, three of them. It was rather strange to make connections after such a long time. I guess I feel like my life is passing me by and I'm standing here watching it go around me. There's an acquaintance from college online who I read her livejournal and I'm sure she reads mine from time to time. We were in philosophy together and I'd really like to talk to her. It would make me feel much better, but I'm not going to say why right now. I have something very important that I need to talk to her about. So, if you are reading this, and you know who you are, please IM me, the name is in the profile of, because I don't have yours.

This is going to get long..Read at your own risk.Collapse )

current mood: restless

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Thursday, August 17th, 2006
12:58 pm - An update for the first time in a while.
I've found my new favorite yogurt. It's fabulous. It Yoplat Light Apple Turnover flavor. It's even got little pieces and bits of apple in it. It tastes so freaking good, and even though it's not an even exchange for the real apple turnovers I was over indulging in, this is a good substitue. In the last three weeks I've lost 5 pounds on Weight Watchers, it's a slow start but I'm keeping at it because I am really determined this time and I have lots of support all over the place this time around.

My job is going well. Being an Art Director is something that I really enjoy. Although I feel intimidated by someone who really has no idea what they are doing, I am getting used to it. I am kept pretty busy for the most part. Some days are slower than others but I usually can find something to amuse myself with and I am able to stay out of trouble. I also start Freelancing next week on a website so I can bring in some extra income that way too.

On another note, I've recently gotten into Pink Floyd, heavily. I've always loved them, but watching them on DVD with my Dad has made my love for them grow tremendously. Hopefully we can find a way to get tickets to the sold out Roger Waters show in September. I've also recently started listen to two newer things. One is the new Lacuna Coil CD, Karmacode. It's great and I recommend it to everyone. I also listen to 99.9 The Electric Front on LIVE365.com with DJ Lee. He plays industrial, goth-rock, synthpop, electronic and more. I'm getting into bands most people don't even know. My love for Covenant, Apoptygma Berzerk, And One, Skinny Puppy and that sorta music has come back in full force. I'm also learning about other bands too that I really enjoy, like Steril, Artica, Code64, IAMX, Celldweller, Mesh, Agonoize, NamNamBulu, Dismantled, Psyche and other goodies.

Quitting CVS was the best move I have ever made in my life. I have my weekends back and am free to have a normal social life, well with the little friends I have around me, I am trying to make the best of it at least. I don't get out of the house much, except with Emile, and he's going to Panama for 10 days so I need to find stuff to do. I am having "Girly Salad Night" with some really great girlfriends of mine, and it's funny because we really are all the anti-girls, but it's going to be fun. I haven't had people over to my house in ages, it will be a nice change for me.

My Mom's knee is healing great. Today is her first day of physical therapy. She was swimming last month a few times during the heat wave, and she is fully out of the immobilizer. Her scar is healing nicely and she should have full mobility in a few months. The doctor said it was a clean break of the knee cap so it was an easy healing process and an easy surgery for him.

So, if you have read this all the way through, I thank you very much. And if any of you want to know anything else, or want me to expand upon something you have read here, just leave me a comment and ask away. Tell me something interesting in your life as well.

Till next time (and hopefully it won't be weeks and weeks from now)


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Tuesday, July 25th, 2006
8:27 am - This one's for you Amanda
Because I suck at updating things, Amanda had to remind me.
1- I quit CVS (wait for it, wait for it, don't you hear the angels singing?)
2- My mom broke her knee
3- I'm still with Emile
4- I work "full-part-time" at Publishers Clearing House as an Art Director
5- I start Weight Watchers at Work today.
6- Right now I'm fucking stressed, tired and exhausted and cranky all at once

When I think of more, I'll let you know,

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Tuesday, June 6th, 2006
Rachel PRIEST will be performing Exorcisms all day, would you like to schedule the next earliest available appointment?

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Friday, June 2nd, 2006

QuitMeter Counter courtesy of www.quitmeter.com.

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Thursday, May 11th, 2006
4:44 pm - PROOF!

How evil are you?

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Monday, February 20th, 2006
10:59 pm - Dirty little secrets?
If you had me alone...locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you do with me? Anonymous replies are welcome, if you so desire. Then repost this in your LJ- or don't. You might be surprised with the responses you get.

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Saturday, October 1st, 2005
11:16 pm - Tuesday...
My birthday is Tuesday, I'm going to be 23. But you know, I don't think I care. I'm just posting this here for the hell of it I guess.

Now back to your regularly scheduled lives...

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Monday, September 19th, 2005
9:57 pm - Sorta update
So I went through my friends list and wrote down everyones name on a piece of paper who I remotely still have contact with or would like to. I'm going to write a comment/quirk/thought/memory about you, without your name, just to show you I still care and would love to hear from you if it's been a while since we've spoken. So...if you are on my friends list and I know you in person you should be on this list. If I missed you just let me know, it wasn't intentional. Also don't be insulted if you aren't here, because it's prolly cuz I don't know you in person and didn't know what to say about you.

Did all those greyhounds get rescued? I hope so. I hope your new jobs are going well

Archaeology wouldn't have been the same without you there, thanks for being awesome, we need to catch up.

So I hope all is well with you. I'm having trouble typing something that you would recognize as being for you. But well, I guess I hope you still want to come to Depeche Mode, tickets still go on sale soon, so get in touch with me, cuz I'm having trouble getting in touch with Frank too.

It's just the Olives, Clarice....You owe me AT LEAST two midgets.

Have any more crazy classes with Koederrman? How have you been? I'd love to hear from you.

I haven't heard from you in ages girl, how is your band doing??? Got any gigs?

I love you...ok that one was easy...

Did you find the doctor you needed, if not you can get in touch with me and I'll try to help you out. Also, thanks for the info about Staples, the ones around me aren't hiring now tho.

So, I'm the only one who reads your live journal? Well, I liked the story, see I DID read it.

How is the new job going? Did you ever get the membership at Curves or just use the free one?

Chewbacca? How are you? I miss you!

I think this is your last year in school but I'm not sure. How is your frog collection?

You are one crazy girl, I used to think you didn't like me, but now I don't think that way anymore. Good luck with RHPS this year!!

You are one sexy man with one sexy nipple ring.

I swore you never liked me, but I think I am wrong. I still have that picture of you at the OST from many moons ago all dressed up on Halloween as Silent Bob.

Lord of the Rings lady, you seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth, you were part of the ex-girlfriend trifecta and now I can't find you..get back to me soon.

I wish you well on your path of religion and prayer. You deserve all the best and I hope everything goes the way you want it to. We might disagree about a lot of political and social things but that's ok because it's worth it to have a friend like you.

You and your black eyeliner better talk to me soon, I miss you, and and Professor Walker gave you a better grade than me and it wasn't fair when I did mreo work than you.

Thanks for making me listening to JD and NO so much, without you I wouldn't be the same.

Did you fall off the face of the earth? When is the wedding?

Raychelle-You can actually call me that now that we have been to France

Did you sleep entirely through Ethics? Also I still think you should look into wearing sandals when you are a super hero.

You are my favorite IBM geek ever =) Let's get married tomorrow

I'm glad you got out, you need to rest, and graduate and not worry about BS that you don't want to deal with. Good luck with Jeff too

You like awesome music, and when are we going to do our photoshoot on the roof?

You look awesome with your weightloss keep it up!!!

I miss you, Big.

And you too, my other "Big"

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Thursday, September 15th, 2005
11:22 pm
So, I want to know who has been writing on my wall, I hate having to guess, so drop me a line!

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